


A very Destiel Christmas Special

by mindless_indulgence



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Domestic Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:21:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27549010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindless_indulgence/pseuds/mindless_indulgence
Summary: Still coping with Castiel's fate by making up my own reality. This is going to be pure christmas fluff in the bunker, with as much questionable humor and light smut I can fit into it. Kudos to all my Twitter peeps who are helping me with important decisions like "what will the boys give each other for christmas?".
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 11
Kudos: 52





	1. On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me emotional overload

**Author's Note:**

> Information: Due to some private stuff I won't update for a while. Will defo finish the fic in January. Stay safe, stay healthy

It’ almost December, and Dean is still not used to his new relation with Cas.  
It is good, no, it’s great, but it’s still weird.

They stumbled head first into it, with zero idea how it would work out in a day to day basis. 

Dean had like one and a half relationships in his life, and it felt like 1000 years ago.  
With Lisa it had felt like play-pretend normal life. He always knew that it couldn’t last, that being a golf playing soccer mom just wasn’t in his cards. 

He knew he belonged in the bunker, with Sam, driving the impala to increasingly ridiculous dangerous things to kill.  
And Cas belonged there too. Having Cas in his life was normal and accustomed. 

Having him in his bed?  
Still very new.  
Sam got oddly quick used to the fact, and Jack was utterly indifferent to his Dads sleeping in the same room now. 

Meanwhile Dean had already punched Cas in the face 4 times when he woke up startled by the fact that someone else was lying in his bed.  
One time when he had a nightmare and Cas tried to wake him, he shot him. 

Luckily, Cas is still immune to regular bullets. 

Dean still feels shitty about it. Of course, Cas didn’t get upset. Jesus, Dean has no idea how he deserved to be loved by someone so understanding, so tender, so kind. Since he doesn’t need to sleep, Cas even made a habit out of getting up early and preparing him breakfast. 

Dean is getting waffles and bacon sandwiches to bed on a regular basis, and he is utterly overchallenged by it. 

So, he has no idea how to hold up his side of the relationship.  
Hell, he doesn’t even know how to do mild PDA. One very awkward afternoon he had held Cas’ hand way too tight through Sam’s very detailed summarize of mutilated 13-year-old girls in a boarding school in Connecticut. It resulted in Sam and Cas preventing him from partaking in the hunt of the monster because they thought it made him feel too low. 

An other time, Cas put a tentative hand on his waist while they tried to decipher a sigil some poor bastard had scratched in the wall before he died, making a whole street sleepwalk and act out their deepest desires at night.  
It had led to two neighbours murdering their wives to be together, so they had to investigate. And when Cas touched him, it had startled Dean so much he bit on his tongue and had a lisp for 2 days. 

Yeah, normal wasn’t going to happen very soon. 

And it’s not like he doesn’t like it. He’s just completely lost on how to respond to it.  
It’s kind of unfair how easy it is for Cas. Okay, granted, the angel has always been a bit too handsy for a normal friendship. And no concept of personal space. Apparently for him, them slowly covering all bases is not a big deal, like putting a final piece into a puzzle. 

So, Dean has a lot to make up to. And he decided that their first Christmas together, all together as a family, is going to be his chance to do that.


	2. On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me teenage feels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what the comparison to Denial is, but it's the state I am in now and decided to declare residency in. Supernatural had a heartwarming, sweet and satisfying ending, and I honor it with some Destiel fluff.

Dean wakes up half naked, with Cas plastered to his back, slowly stroking his hair.

It’s a lot more relaxing than waking up with Cas’ blue eyes staring at him. No matter how much their relationship changed, Dean will never like being watched in his sleep. 

“Good morning Dean. Are you hungry? Do you want some coffee?” 

Still sleepy, Dean feels a smile crawling on his face. How did he ever not notice how sweet Cas is, how attentive and caring?  
He turns around, puts his arms around Cas’ waist and pulls him closer. 

“Nah, I just want to lie here with you for a while.” 

He kisses him tenderly, dragging his lips over the angel’s cheeks and chin, plants little pecks on his nose and brows.  
Cas exhales and melts into the embrace. His hands slide over Dean’s shoulders, still a bit tentative and clumsy.  
While Cas seems to feel completely at home with the casual touches of a relationship, he is still a bit uncertain and precarious about the more intimate parts of it. 

It gives Dean at least a bit of balance. He might not be good with the PDA, but he aces at making out. 

They haven’t gone all the way yet. Dean doesn’t want to rush into something he is a bit intimidated by himself, and Cas seems completely happy with everything they have done so far.  
Jesus, the first time he went down on him, the angel had all the lightbulbs in the bunker exploding.  
Afterwards, Sam had giving Dean that _knowing_ grin for days. 

It is lowkey weird to be in completely new and unexplored relationship, when you’re already living together, completely with one idiot brother and having a child. 

They are slowly making out, and he’s feeling Cas getting hard against his leg.  


It took Dean a while to not being a bit weirded out by this at first. Aside from his own, he has never in his life touched another man’s dick.  
To say that the mechanics are a lot different than with a woman is an understatement. 

But he’s getting a hang on this, and making Cas feel good, making him moan and writhe is surprisingly easy. 

Finally Dean’s rolling on top of him, and they’re frotting like teenagers.

Afterwards he is holding Cas, listening to his hummingbird heartbeat. The angel is always so raw and vulnerable, Dean is scared shitless that he might hurt him eventually, and not with a fist to the face. 

But for now, he's doing his best to enjoy their little bubble of happiness.


	3. On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me confusing domestic bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Christian heresy!!!  
> I went to Catholic school and obviously have some issues to work through. Anyway, if you consider trash-talking and re-writing the nativity story a dealbreaker, don't read this chapter, I took a lot of liberties here.

Finally they are getting out of bed, heading to the kitchen.  
Jack is coming in shortly after, giving both of them one of his huge, innocent smiles.

Cas prepares him a bowl of cereal, and gives him a kiss on the top of his head.  
Where did he got that from? Probably Netflix, since he started watching Modern Family to get a hang on unusual family dynamics. He is still taking things very literally. When he’s putting a plate of French toast in front of Dean, Sam and Eileen are coming in. 

Dean was just leaning in on Cas to give him a thank-you kiss, but he chickens out, and just pats him on the shoulder.  
Sitting down and taking a cup of coffee, Eileen starts signing something to Sam. When Sam responds, Eileen chuckles, giving Dean the side-eye. 

“What?” 

“I would not have taken you as a shy guy. Sam says if I weren’t deaf, he wouldn’t feel comfortable letting me sleep here.” 

“If you weren’t deaf, you wouldn’t want to sleep next to, or with Sam in the first place. He’s making sounds like a guinea pig when he’s aroused.” 

Sam punches Dean in the shoulder, which leads to a minor wrestling incident at breakfast. 

* * *

Later on, Dean starts looking for Christmas decoration. Finally he finds some in a storage room.  
Carrying the boxes to the library and unpacking them, he finds lots of angels.

The old-fashioned, androgynous type with smooth faces, immaculate hair, floaty dresses, fluffy wings and golden harps. He picks some of them and starts playing with them idly. 

“Hey, you mud-monkeys! I am a teenage mutant ninja angel, and I have a serious beef going on with my dickbag older brother who wants to wear Sam to the prom!” 

Taking another doll, he continues  
“It’s not my fault, daddy didn’t love me enough so I am going to destroy every living creature in the universe out of spite.” 

He picks an angel with dark hair and very blue eyes. 

“I won’t let this happen, ass-butt! Because I fell in love with humanity, and by that I mean one devastatingly handsome hunter with emeralds for eyes and a dick to die for!” 

He doesn’t notice Cas entering the room. 

“This is not how angels interact.” 

Dean jolts, and quickly puts the angel dolls down. 

“You know, I was as disappointed as everyone else not to see you ever wearing a floating white nightgown. Humans have some expectations when it comes to angels.” 

Cas frowns at the little figurines. 

“I could wear one for you.” 

“No, Cas, that is not what I meant. Jesus!” 

I have read up on the internet on these things, apparently dressing accordingly to specific fantasies is quite common and recommended for, quote, _spicing it up in the bedroom._ ” 

Dean burrows his face in his hands. 

“Cas why on earth do you always think everything I say and do is referring to something sexual?” 

“Do you want a statistical, historical, or qualitative evaluation of the indices that led me to this conclusion?” 

“Ok ok, forget I asked. No, I don’t want you to dress up like the little angle china my mom had put in my bedroom, that’s just creepy.” 

“Allright. You will tell me if there is anything you want me to wear for you.” 

Sam, who came walking into the room during the last sentence, instantly backs out again with a loud  
“Nope!” 

“Cas, I really don’t want to talk about this stuff here, where we can traumatize Sam. Even more. Do you want to help me with this Christmas decorations? Completely free of innuendo.” 

After untangling a lot of fairy lights, they are putting a manger together when Jack walks in. When he asks what they’re doing, Dean gives him his rather incorrect and summarized version of the nativity story. 

“Was it really like that, Cas?” 

“No, not really. The part with the donkey and the ox is stretched out of proportions. One of the Three Wise Men brought a pain-relieving herb that is considered a recreational drug these days, and not myrrh. Josef was not as imperturbable to Mary being pregnant as it is told, he was actually really upset about it. Gabriel had to use some very harsh words to make him not leave her. She wasn’t technical a virgin either. Or, untechnical. Oh, and Jesus was most definitely not smiling or looking as serene as most depictions. He was crying most of the night.” 

“Ok thank you Cas, we all have a way too complicated relationship with Chuck to take anything about Christmas literal. So we are going to get the Bunker decorated, listen to carols until we get sick of them, watch cheesy Christmas movies and eat way too much food until we are relieved that it is over on New Year's Eve like every other regular pseudo-christian family in this country. Anyway, I’m hungry now. And feel like baking cookies. Join me for a grocery run, Cas?” 

They leave.  
After letting that sink in for a while, Jack starts rearranging the manger. 

“Then we can make it right for ourselves.” 

When Sam walks in again, he’s looking at the manger with amazement.  
Baby Jesus is now guarded on one side by the Christmas angel which has been previously lurking on the roof, standing close together with one of the shepherds, and Josef wearing a piece of flannel on the other side.  
The donkey and ox are replaced with a toy car in the barn. One of the Three Wise Men is carrying a cardboard pie, one has red eyes, and Melchior is carrying a scythe. 

“Well, this is something. Did you glue the hands of the angel and the shepherd together?” 

Jack nods. 

“It took them so long to find their love for each other, I don’t want them to get separated again.”


	4. On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me a queer hunting trip

The next day, Dean is baking cookies in the kitchen, singing loudly along to the carols playing on the radio.

_’It came upon a midnight clear That glorious song of old From angels bending near the earth To touch their harps of gold.’_

Jack is cutting out cookies, his face covered in nougat and edible glitter. 

“This is so great!” 

When Cas walks in, he listens to the lyrics irritated. 

“How many Christmas hymns about angels are there?” 

Dean grins. 

“A lot. I didn’t even know half of them! But I found an internet radio station that’s playing them all!” 

“Is there any chance you will ever stop with that?” 

Dean takes out a tray of cookies from the oven. They are all angel shaped. 

“Not the slightest.” 

Forgetting that he just got them out of the oven, Dean takes one and tosses it into his mouth.  
When he bends over coughing, and Cas is trying to get a glass of water into him, Sam rushes into the kitchen. 

“Are you all right?” 

Jack looks up from more nougat cookies. 

“Dean hurt his tongue while eating an angel. It was too hot, I think.   
Why are you hitting your head on the doorframe, Sam?” 

“No particular reason. Anyway, I found us a case. Which is great because I really need to get out of here for a few days.” 

Taking a beer from the fridge and holding it to his mouth, Dean makes his ‘cut the BS and go on’ gesture. 

“It’s in Vermont. 3 antiquing couples disappeared after visiting the same hotel, some upscale B&B called Twin Oaks, the last one has been found partially in the woods. Local police think it was a bear attack.” 

“What the f is antiquing?” 

“The search and purchase of antiques?” 

“It sounds even stupider when you make a verb out of it! How old were the victims, 94? I bet they all died of natural circumstances after getting too excited about a china doll or carrying a too heavy macramé hanging basket.” 

“Not – exactly.” 

Sam puts out pictures of the couples from what Dean’s assumes is their Facebook accounts, con-sidering how fake they look. They are all in their late 20ies to early 40ies, all dressed like they were invited to a TV debate or cosplaying James Bond. Oh, and they are all dudes.  
A queer hunting trip. Awesome. 

Sam points on a picture of two tall, buff men, who don’t even look remotely gay in Dean’s eyes. 

“Lucas and Sterling Troy, the couple that was found dead. Former special forces, they went into private security a few years ago. Not really your average bear victim.” 

“And no sign of the other victims?” 

“Not so far. They luggage was left behind, including phones and wallets. They just disappeared from the suite, no one saw them leaving.” 

Cas frowns at the pictures. 

“Most monsters would leave some kind of trail behind, or more bodies.” 

“Which is why we are going undercover as antiquing couples too.” 

Dean feels like he’s getting whiplash from rolling his eyes. 

“You want me and Cas be gay bait to whatever ate those Marines, right?” 

“Can I come too?” 

Jack looks so excited, no one has the heart to disappoint him. 

“Ok fine, you’ll register as Dean and Cas’ son, and we’ll book a third room.” 

“Why can’t he be your and Eileen’s kid? When we got that family card at Yosemite’s I got asked a gazillion questions about gestational surrogacy from this over enthusiastic hiking group and learned more about human reproduction than I ever wanted to know.” 

Cas looks at Jack with a concerned frown. 

“Two of them asked me if he was my clone.” 

“Which is why no one would believe that he was someone else’s biological child.” 

Dean knows when he has to accept a defeat. 

“Ok fine!” 

Dean points a finger at Jack. 

“You can call me Dad. Not Daddy, not papa or pops. Got it?” Jack nods enthusiastically, while Dean gives Sam a glare. 

“And you can wear whatever sweater vest you feeling like, but I won’t dress up for this antiquing nonsense.” 

* * *

While Dean is loading up the Impala’s trunk with extra armoury just out of spite, Sam approaches him quietly.

“You don’t have to go all Tan or Antoni for this –“ 

“Who?” 

“Never mind. But people have to believe that you’re in an actual relationship with Cas, you know that, right?” 

“Dude I _am_ in an actual relationship with Cas.” 

“Yeah, I noticed. I don’t know what exactly you are doing to Cas every night and I don’t want to, but he’s giving the trombones of Jericho a run for their money. But you need to be a convincing couple in public. You don’t have to go all Elton John on him, just take his hand once in a while.” 

Trust Sam to put his finger in the wound. 

“I know that, ok? It’s – weird to do that. And it’s not because I’m ashamed of him or anything, I just –“ 

“Never had any positive example of a healthy, happy relationship?” 

Dean stops rummaging in the trunk and straightens up to face Sam.  
His huge little brother looks concerned, but there’s more to it. He can see the same fears, the same self-doubts he has been feeling himself the last weeks in those hazel puppy-eyes. 

They haven’t talk-talked about their respective love interests yet. Their dynamic just doesn’t work that way, and Dean had given Sam his blessing for Eileen months ago. And since then he’d been too wrapped up in his own coupling issues to notice much around him. 

But Sam is scared, not even about Eileen dying (again), but losing her due to the trademark Winchester inability of healthy relationships. 

Dean closes his eyes for a second and takes a deep breath.  
He can do that. He can be happily fake-married to Cas. Keeping Sammy happy and save and clean inside of this mess of their lives, it’s his second nature. And if all he needs is seeing his brother being happy and gay in public with a 400 million year old Multi-Dimensional Wavelength of Celestial Intent, Dean can do that too. 

He pats Sam’s shoulder. 

“I'll put away my pride. Enough's enough, I've suffered and I've seen the light.” 

“Somehow I don’t feel very reassured here if you’re quoting Aerosmith!” 

Eileen, Cas, and Jack are walking in the garage, all of them looking very preppy and upscale.  
Dean’s eyes almost bulge out of his head when he sees Cas. 

“Are you - wearing a black Trench coat?” 

“Eileen suggested it. Do you like it?” 

Dean swallows. 

“Sure. Looks good on you. And uhm, since we’re doing the marriage thing, I got you this.” 

He hands Cas a silver wedding ring. When Cas seems to be lost on what to do with it, he takes his hand and puts it on his finger. After a short hesitation, he adds a soft kiss on his mouth, mumbling  
“Love you.” 

When he sees the rest of the gang staring at him, he nods his head towards Eileen’s car. 

“Come on guys, we’ve got antiquing to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am doing way too much research for this. Today's angel playlist feature "It Came Upon the Midnight Clear" and "Angel" from Aerosmith (probably gonna use that again, the lyrics are gold.) I also added a little nod to Archer, for those of you who don't know that show, google "Sterling Archer/Lucas Troy" and you'll understand why I had to delete hair and eye color of the description of the victims. (And probably have a few laughs about the search results). Happy Christmas time, stay save, healthy and happy!


	5. On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me one hell of a road trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't planned, but the plot bunny took me down a hole where I had to check a ton of details to get this right. I want to mention that I never even shipped Destiel, so a) I am writing Dean as demisexual, not bi and b) have to catch up on a lot of background information.

“OK, let’s get the facts straight. All couples that disappeared and/or were dismembered have been men, so we’re gonna pose as a couple -”

“Aren’t we already a couple?” 

“You didn’t let me finish. A _married_ couple, hence the rings.” 

“Who did propose?” 

Awesome, that long-ass road trip to Vermont was a minefield of relationship traps on it’s own. 

“Does it matter?” 

“When we’ve been to Yosemite, several women asked me about that after they heard that Jack was our son.” 

“Oh jeez, that family discount ticket really came with a price.” 

Jack leans forward from the backseat. He instantly went for the Impala, so Sam and Eileen probably had a way more peaceful drive behind them. 

“The elderly woman from the counter later asked about my mother. She sounded overly concerned, and kind of angry. When I told her that she died at my birth and that Castiel has been taking care of me since, but that we didn’t really become a family until Sam and Dean took us in, she mumbled something about not charging us for the cable.” 

Dean laughs, while Cas shoots him a confused look. 

“I don’t understand.” 

Dean pats his knee. 

“Humans, man. They either think we’re cute, or that we’re Satan’s spawn. No, not you Jack, they can’t actually see that Lucifer is technically – whatever. Just don’t assume that everyone’s fine with two men raising a child together.” 

“That sounds really stupid.” 

Castiel and Jack respond in unison, with matching disapproving frowns on their face.  
And reluctantly, Dean has to agree with that scary, hyperactive Fangirl Becky, it really sounds adorable. 

“No argument there. Ok fine, I proposed, on a lake, at our one-year anniversary.” 

“The one from your dream, before I was banished? I didn’t know you remembered that.” 

Dean blushes a little and smiles at Cas. 

“I really thought I lost you for good then, but I cling to that dream for a long time.” 

“But back then we- we weren’t – we didn’t –“ 

“No, but if I could change the past, it would have been the start of it. Of – something.” 

Castiel leans over and places his hand on Dean’s on the steering wheel. 

“That is a very nice thought.” 

Dean clears his throat, and glances back to Jack, who’s been listening eagerly. 

“Ok, Jack’s mom has been your high school sweetheart. You’ve been careless at prom night, and after she passed away you raised Jack alone until we met. Oh jeez, why do people always have to be so interested in those things. No one would bat an eye or be remotely intrigued by Sam and Eileen’s story of having a kid.” 

“I assume we will get asked how we met?” 

“We will probably get asked tons of things, and most of them inappropriate. But we have to clear the basics.” 

“That group of drunk women on a ‘bachelorette extreme outdoor experience’ asked me which one of us was the ‘top’, and which one was the ‘bottom’. I told them that we have a king’s size bed, but I don’t think that was what the question was directed at.” 

Dean resists the very strong urge to bang his head against the wheel. 

“No, it wasn’t. I’ll explain to you later, because I am VERY uncomfortable talking about that with Jack being present. Just tell people that this is none of their fffff – fudging business.” 

Cheerfully, Jack tosses in  
“If he doesn’t want to talk about it in front of me, it’s probably something about sex.” 

In a rare, magical moment of clairvoyant, Cas senses Dean’s discomfort with the conversation, and changes the subject. 

“We met when you fell into a rock crevice in Yosemite and I raised you up before you froze to death.” 

“That’s good. And, uhm, You and Sam have some business about old books, and Eileen and me do security stuff together. I’ll tell them at the next gas stop. No idea if they want to do the marriage thing too, but Sam made the fake ID’s, so I don’t care.” 

Cas looks at the silver ring on his finger. 

“You know, we, uhm, angels, never got the big deal humans made about weddings and marriage. If two people truly belonged together, it has been decided from the moment their souls were created. A ceremony in a church has no value in heaven. But I can see now that a symbol of affinity can be beautiful.” 

Jeez, what does one respond to this? One of the main reasons Dean thinks why they haven’t gotten together sooner is because Cas regularly drops those fucking huge and meaningful bombs of truth and feeling, and he feels utterly helpless on how to react to them.  
He’s a high school dropout who never read a book that wasn’t necessary for a case, and has to check with Sam regularly on all the big words the angel is saying.  
Dean kind of noticed the clues, the little looks and touches that lingered too long, but the thought that this ancient, divine creature took any real interest in _him_? That, in combination with the fact that Castiel had chosen a male vessel had been too much for him to process until it almost has been too late. 


	6. On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me stupid roleplay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this took a while. Huge thanks to Margalida and Daisy for Spanish translations, manning the reception/ bar during the holidays, and general awesomeness!

The Twin Oaks turns out to be a huge, gorgeous Chalet amidst snow-covered trees and a frozen lake. Jack, who has never seen snow in his life, bolted out of the Impala and started frolicking through the snowdrifts next to the parking lot before Dean even fully parks the car. He gets himself involved in a snowball fight between several kids, and Cas fruitlessly yells at him to put a scarf and gloves on.  
Dean turns to Sam and Eileen with a deep sigh.

“Please check us in, and don’t have any children.” 

But he smiles when he takes out Jack’s winter clothes from the Impala, and shows the kid how to make a proper snowball after he’s all bundled up. 

“Your brother’s soft side is showing a lot recently.” 

At ease with her cover as vacationer, Eileen hooks her arm through Sam’s, and leans into him. 

“Yeah. I would make fun of him, but he deserved this so much, I don’t have the heart for it.” 

“We could ask the hotel staff if they would put rose petals and champagne on their bed. Maybe they have a special welcome basket for male honeymoon couples.” 

Sam laughs all the way to the front desk, pulling her close to his side. 

Inside, the Hotel is all wood, brass and enough Christmas décor to film the final scene of the Christmas Carol. Wreaths and mistletoes embellish carved arches, Christmas trees are placed in every free space, trays of cookies At the front desk, a petite girl with caramel skin and dark chocolate eyes in a festive red dress smiles brightly at them. 

“Welcome to Twin Oaks Residence! My name is Margalida, how may I help you?” 

Sam gives her a winning smile. 

“Yeah hi, I have made reservations for Taylor, May and Mercury.  
I wanted to surprise my brother and his husband with the honeymoon suite, it’s their 11-year anniversary. But it wasn’t optional on the booking site. Any chance you can do something about that?” 

The young woman looks a bit troubled. 

“I mean, technically – we had a tragic incident there last month and weren’t sure if people would feel comfortable in the suite, so we took it off the selection.” 

Eileen jumps in.  
“His brother and me work in security. If we would be bothered with crime scene locations, we would never get any work done.” 

“Oh, in that case, let me check with the manager.”  
She picks up the vintage looking phone, dials a number, and starts talking to someone in Spanish.  
“Que pasa jefe! Tengo aquí unos cuantos vaqueros guapo que quieren alquilar la sala de matanzas. Les he contado sobre el asesinato, pero ya conoces a los yankees.” 

She gives them another big smile. 

“Mr Pavarcón will be here soon to take care of your request.” 

The hotel manager, Dorian Pavarcón according to his name tag, is a tall, dark and handsome man with a D’Artagnan beard in a perfectly fitted suit in dark silver. He glances over Sam, exchanges a quick look with Margalida, and greets Eileen with a hand kiss and Sam with a cordial handshake. 

“Welcome to Twin Oaks Residence Mrs and Mr…?” 

Sam blushes a bit, responding  
“Ah, Sam Taylor and Eileen May. It’s my brother’s anniversary, and we hoped we could surprise them with the honeymoon suite.” 

“A very lovely idea. Under normal circumstances, it would’ve been booked for months now. Sadly, the last residents were found dead, and we had to close the suite due to the police investigation.” 

“Were they killed in the hotel?” 

“The police aren’t sure. The room was trashed. It was in quite a state, but the bodies were found a few miles out in the forest. We were allowed to clean up eventually, but haven’t rented it out yet.” 

Eileen chimes in.  
We’ve seen a lot like this on the job. In 82% of all house older than 5 years there has been some kind of violent crime. As long as it’s clean, we’re fine with it.” 

Sam discreetly signs to her  
‘That statistic true?’ 

Eileen just rolls her eyes in response. 

The manager clears his throat  
“Well, if you’re sure that you don’t mind? Since you’d be the first guests, we will charge you with a regular room price. Margalida, please tell housekeeping that they can prepare the suite. And add our complimentary honeymoon basket.” 

The door opens, and Dean, Cas and Jack waltz in. Jack’s cheeks are the colour of candy apple, and he and Dean are equally wet and covered in melting snow. On the way to the front table, Jack snatches one of the cookie trays, which he and Dean clean out before they reach the others.

“Ah, here’s the anniversary couple! I have a surprise for you two lovebirds. We were able to book the honeymoon suite for you, in the penthouse.” Sam adds with a lower voice “While Eileen, Jack and me have rooms at the opposite side of the building.” 

He winces when Dean kicks his leg. 

“Well this is so nice of you! I am really looking forward to have some we-time with Cas, knowing that our boy is being taken care of by his favourite uncle!” 

Dean gives Sam a shark grin, as realization dawns upon his brother. 

The receptionist and the manager are giving them their congratulations  
“This is so lovely! Why don’t you wait at the bar while the suite gets prepared?” 

As Sam, Dean, Cas, Eileen and Jack leave, Dorian leans over to Margalida;  
“Las vistas en el hotel han mejorado al menos por tres, no crees? O por cuatro, dependiendo de si el yogurin rubio de ahí es mayor de edad.” 

* * *

The bar is made out of dark cherrywood and brass. There are more Christmas trees and mistles, and Dean makes a point in giving Cas a kiss under every one of them.  
A young Latina is slicing oranges behind the bar, greeting them cheerfully.

“Feliz navidad! My name is Daisy. Can I offer you one of the house special holiday Cocktails? The **angels kiss** is 12 year old Ardbeg scotch whisky with honey, lemon and ginger, and the **Y yo a ti** is an 1800 anejo Tequila with fresh tangerine, champagne and a pinch of cinnamon.” 

Dean almost starts drooling on the floor. Ruffling Jack’s hair, he responds  
“Sounds awesome! We’ll have 2 of each. Do you have something non-alcoholic too for our kid here?” 

Jack looks irritated.  
“But I already had-“ 

“Way too much sugar today, I know son, but we’ll close an eye while on vacation.” 

“Well, I can make you a frosted merry- cherry- cranberry mocktail.” 

“That sounds actually really good!!” 

“I’ll be over in a second. Have a turrón! It’s a kind of nougat, our chef made them just this - oh.” 

As soon as she mentions them, Jack starts shoving the little white bars into his mouth, with a beaming smile at Daisy as if she had opened the pearly gates for him. 

The bartender gives Jack a soft smile.  
“I’ll get you some more.” 

As they sit at the table, Eileen pulls out a hotel flyer. 

“So, apparently the house is 300 years old, but I can’t find any older reports on people disappearing or getting killed. Last year it got bought by the Humpf-Tilton group, and since then there’s nothing but trouble.” 

Jack returns with a plate full of turrones, to the great joy of Dean. 

“Look what I got! They are so good!” 

“Jack, it’s great that you enjoy it so much here, but remember, we’re working a case.” 

Jack beams with excitement. 

“I talked a bit to the bartender. Daisy says she’s been here only for a month. Apparently, the hotel is losing staff constantly. No one from the village wants to work under the new management, so the director transferred his staff from Santa Jose, because the Hotel there got closed for renovations.” 

“Well that explains why everyone’s speaking Spanish here.” 

Dean proudly pats Jack on the head.  
“Look at you, chatting up the cute bartender! That’s my boy.” 

Sam adds  
“We need to find out why the locals won’t work for the new management. Or if that’s just a ruse, and the whole staff is involved. Maybe there’s something hidden in the hotel they’re after.” 

“Jinkies, looks like we have another mystery on our hands!” 

This time, Dean gets a kick under the table.


	7. 7.	On the seventh day of Christmas my true love got from me the talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's chapter is brought to you by DaydrinkingTM. I also had to change the tags because I'm adding gradually more sex than originally intended. Thanks to MRei for Jack and Cas dialogue.

The gang is on their second set of Cocktails, and an undefined amount of Tapas Dean had discovered on the bar menu.

“This is awesome! But those little sausages are horrible.” 

“I think they’re called Chorizo. Not a fan of the soft cheese either, huh?” 

“I don’t know how it tastes, it looks too much like that Leviathan Burger filling in yellow for me to try it.” 

Sam is eating some kind of vegan pizza called coques, while Dean works his way through everything deep fried on the platter. Eileen tries a bit of everything, and Jack somehow got a large bowl of Crème Catalan.  
A blond man walks in the bar, with an attitude as if he owns the place. He’s wearing a clearly very expensive suit, and a watch larger than a belt buckle.  
After checking everyone in the room up, he looks at the Winchester’s table. As his eyes land on Cas, his arrogant face gets a predatory look, and he struts over to them. 

With a disapproving once-over on Dean, he says  
“I didn’t know we were that deep in the reds to rent out rooms to the lumberjacks.” 

Baffled, the group stares at him. Finally, Eileen signs  
‘What a gigantic asshole!’ 

She does this one often enough that all of them recognize it.  
Ignoring the collective laughter, the guy’s eyes lock down on Cas like a shark on the naked blonde women in the ocean. 

“You probably already heard about me. I am Wentworth Humpf-Tilton IV!” 

Dean snorts loudly, while Cas just has his trademark confused look.  
“Is that still considered a name in 2020?” 

Wentworth isn’t even listening to Cas’ answer, he just points out a finger to trace his jawline. 

Dean jolts up, with Sam barely holding him back, whispering  
“We need to lay low, at least for now!” 

Cas jerks away from Lord Douchebag, who just chuckles.  
“I can’t help myself, I have _such_ a thing for blue eyes and dark hair!” 

“I have heard the last resident who resembled that description was found partially eaten by a bear in the woods.” 

Wentworth raises his eyebrows.  
“My my, do you have an aggressive style in flirting!” 

Cas just gives him an oblivious look. Thankfully, the receptionist girl appears in that moment. 

“Hello Gentlemen. The honeymoon suite is ready for you.” 

Wentworth belittles her;  
“Darling this is my hotel, I get to say what is ready, not you.” 

His cell phone starts ringing, and with a last wink at Cas, he leaves. 

Dean stares after him.  
“THAT is the owner?” 

Margalida all but spits on the floor.  
“Gilipollas incompetente! He’s the owner’s _son_. Moved into the president’s suite a day after all the work was done and is shouting around stupid orders. We got a direct order from his father to ignore everything he says. Guess the old man is glad the idiot isn’t messing around with the main business and playing big shot here. Dorian is working left and right to make sure he doesn’t ruin everything.” 

Realizing she said all that out loud in front of guests, she quickly changes the subject.  
“Ah, Daisy told me you liked the turrones. Sadly we didn’t made that much, but if you want to, I could get you the recipe?“ 

Jack jolts up from the seat.  
“Would you? Really? That’d be so awesome!” 

Dean clears his throat.  
“Jack? Personal space?” 

Reluctantly, Jack steps away from the young woman. 

“Ah, if you gentlemen would want to see the suite now?” 

Dean looks at Sam  
“We’ll talk later. About the, uhm, antiques? Keep an eye on Jack, I think he ate his bodyweight in sugar today.” 

As Cas and he leave, Dean can hear Sam say  
“Hey Jack, did you eat the gooey cheese and the smelly sausages?” 

“No, I slipped them in that douchebag’s pockets.” 

* * *

Margalida leads them through the vast hallway up to the penthouse.  
“Here you go. Ring us if you need anything. And, uhm, don’t worry about your son. I think it’s lovely how open and enthusiastic he is.”

With a slight blush, she leaves. 

The suite is the nicest place Dean has ever seen. Dark red velvet curtains frame a perfect view on the snow-covered forest, warm wooden furniture and delicate silver decorations make you feel instantly at home. 

Dean follows Cas into the bedroom, where he’s looking at a heart-shaped bed, and a huge gift basket full of condoms, lube, several sex toys sitting on top of it. 

“Oh Jesus! I’m going to kill Sam! I bet this is his making!” 

Castiel holds up a tube of warming orange-cinnamon flavoured lube.  
“Is this some kind of dessert?” 

Dean’s ears are burning red.  
“No, that’s for uhm, sex.” 

“What do you do with it?” 

Dean stares at him.  
“You _do_ know how men have sex, right?” 

Castiel looks very confused.  
“That – wasn’t what we did every night for the last month?” 

“No! I mean, yes, but we didn’t have any actual intercourse. Yet. Or, ever, if you don’t want, we don’t have to, of course.” 

“Doesn’t one of us needs to have a vagina for that?” 

“You’re kidding me, right? Did Sam put you onto this?”  
Dean has to sit down.  
“No, of course not. You really don’t know. How can you not now, you’ve been around for literal eons.” 

“I have never taken any particular interest in the details of human reproduction. That – pizzaman movie did spark some curiosity in me and having sex with April was quite educational. But as I told you, the physical side of affection isn’t as naturally connected to the emotional for me as it is for most of the humans. I do enjoy what we are doing together. A lot. It is already so much more than I could have ever hope for. So there is more we could do?” 

Dean rummages through the minibar.  
“I need a drink.” 

_A few drinks later._

“So uhm, that how it works. Just so you’re aware of it.” 

“Doesn’t that hurt? For the, uhm, bottom? Do I use that term correctly?” 

“That’s what the lube is for. And yes, the one who’s taking it is called – yOu gEt ThE pOInt!” 

“And men do take pleasure in that?” 

“I suppose, otherwise there wouldn’t be such a big market for enhancement gear.”  
Dean points to the gift basket. 

Cas ponders about that for a while.  
“Do you want to do that?” 

Dean turns beet red, because, seriously?  
“Maybe. Eventually? You know I’ve never done that before. Do you?” 

“Consummating a relationship in flesh is considered as the ultimate connection between lovers. The acts we have been done so far have been – capsizing beyond words for me. I can’t imagine what having the, uhm, actual sex with you would be like, but if you want to, I’d be willing to try it.” 

Dean takes another sip of his drink. Jesus.  
He is almost grateful for the knock at the door, except that when Cas opens it, there’s Wentworth lurking outside with a toothy grin, asking if Cas is satisfied with the arrangement, and providing the information that he is in the suite next door, in case he needs anything. 

Just when Dean grabs for his gun, Cas closes the door with an indifferent “No thanks.” 

Dean puts the gun away, and looks at the gift basket.  
“You know what? Let’s try some of this stuff.” 

A few minutes later, Cas is laying belly down on the bed, while Dean is kissing his way slowly down his spine, and taking the bottle of cinnamon lube.  
Apparently, Cas can get loud enough to be heard through 10-inch brick walls in the bunker, so Dean puts his oral fixation to good use and make sure that arrogant fucker next door will get the audio show of his life. 

* * *

In the middle of the night, Cas is walking around the hotel, when he runs into Jack.

“What are you doing here?” 

“Well, I don’t sleep. Usually at the bunker I clean stuff and sneak healthy food into Dean’s fridge, and unhealthy food into Sam’s. So I thought I get a feel of this place. What about you?” 

“I had all the sleep I need already, so I thought I talk to some of the staff.” 

Cas notices that Jack turns a bit red while saying this.  
“Anyone in particular you’d like to talk to?” 

“Uhm, yes, actually. I wanted to thank Margalida for this nougat recipe.” 

“That’s very thoughtful of you.” 

Jack hesitates.  
“Cas?” 

“Yes?” 

“I want to let her know that I like her.” 

“So you need to flirt, Jack.” 

“How do I do that?” 

Cas contemplates this for a moment.  
“You should ask Dean.” 

As Jack turns, Cas stops him.  
“In the morning.”  
He hesitates.  
“Sorry, I have to go. Dean is having a nightmare; I need to change it into a dream about baking a giant pie and eating it.” 

Jack looks after him, then takes a deep breath and heads for the front desk.


	8. On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me a Scooby-Doo villain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me ages because this is a wolly mammoth of a chapter. But I had the set-up already worked out, so I couldn't fit any of it's content into a later chapter. I officially give up now, and will add the segments of chapter 8 gradually. Thanks for your patience.

At the next morning, they enjoy the large breakfast buffet together.  
Dean eats his bodyweight in bacon, Canadian bacon, maple glazed bacon and pancetta. Sam asks Cas if his healing abilities cover clogged arteries, and Dean responds by telling Eileen that he feels sorry for her if Sam’s lack of carnal desires spreads into the bedroom as well.  
Eileen watches their banter with amusement, while signing to Cas a reassurance that the brothers are only teasing each other friendly.  
Jack seems to be distracted; his eyes constantly locked at the door to the hallway.

He jolts when Dean pokes him,  
“Hey kiddo! You can daydream when we got whatever captured and killed those antiquing couples, and killed it into tiny pieces! Maybe we have some days left here to relax.”  
He winks at him. 

“Allright, let’s lay out our battle plan. I will check out this douchebag’s suite, even if he doesn’t have to do anything with the missing guests, I bet tomorrow morning’s bacon that he’s guilty of something. I already checked with Jody on the local Sheriff for that case. Cas can cover the surrounding area, apparently there is a rose garden that has been famous for a 100 years, but turned barren this summer.” 

Eileen nods.  
“Sam and I will look into the village, find out why the residents won’t work here anymore. I noticed some of the other guests talking about the church and the local priest, that he was giving a weird vibe, freaking them out.” 

Sam looks at Jack. 

“Kid, are you feeling confident about talking to the hotel staff, seeing if something’s going on here? Or do you prefer one of us staying here with you?” 

“No! No, I think I can manage.” 

Dean pats his shoulder.  
“Just say what I would say, and you’ll be fine.” 

* * *

Dean looks into Wentworth’ suite. The rooms have surprisingly good security, but the maid left the door ajar, cursing colourfully in Spanish.  
Even if the bastards not got to do anything with the _actual_ case, he won’t miss an opportunity to mess with him.  
After discovering lots of condoms and embarrassing pornography, even by Dean’s standards, he finally digs up an old road map with markings at a junction, and a bag full of tiny bone fragments. 

Interesting.  
Dean takes pictures of everything, then swaps Wentworth’s hair products with glue and puts itching powder in the sheets just out of spite. 

* * *

Cas walks the perimeter of the hotel. Since the cold doesn’t bother him, he took the job to check out the vast green areas that are covered in snow now.

Often, he feels clueless. He’s not a human. When he fell in love with Dean, he never got his hopes up for the feeling being returned.  
His vessel being male played a large part into this. But love for angels went deeper and had little to do with physical attraction and need. Dean had slept with a seemingly female angel, but he didn’t grasp the fact that angels were, fundamentally, epicene. Anna could have been a man for all she cared.  
Angels don’t give the gender more thought than humans cared about their blood type.  
Angels have no hormones, no primal urge to reproduce. The only desire for Castiel was to be loved by Dean, just as he loved him. And he always knew this wish was impossible. 

Angels also don’t dream what an impossible wish fulfilled would be like.  
Cas didn’t wistfully imagine how being loved by Dean would feel. And suddenly, everything changed, and he was utterly unprepared how life would be, being happy, finally. 

There is no happily ever after, just day-to-day confusion about dealing with things.  
He is used to Dean saying things he doesn’t mean literal. He just still has no idea how to understand them. 

When Cas finally reaches the old rose garden, he finds lots of dead plants. When he examines the ground, he discovers someone has salted the ground. Nothing supernatural here, only plain old sabotage.  
He looks around. It doesn’t take much imagination to picture how beautiful the place must have been once. A marble fountain surrounded by delicate lead trellis, the occasional bench inviting to a moment of solace.  
And it took so little malice and neglect to destroy it. 

Jaw set determined; Cas goes to work reviving the plants. He breathes life back into every single shrub rose, encourages the occasional lily, violet and chrysanthemum seed to grow, and blesses the ground so no amount of salt could desecrate the garden again.  
After a moment of consideration, he makes one flower bloom, and picks it to keep it save from the cold.  
Thankfully, the plants won’t remember the pain and death. Something he wish could be said for Dean, and Sam too. 

He looks around, satisfied with the restoration of life and beauty. Maybe they could return in spring when the flowers will bloom again. He will suggest it to Dean. 

Suddenly Castiel realises he hasn’t actively done anything in their relationship so far. He has been too scared to accidentally break something he doesn’t fully understand yet.  
But Dean is a lot like those flowers here, broken and scarred by malice and neglect. He should try doing some caretaking that goes beyond cooking and cleaning. 

* * *

When Cas returns to the hotel, he spots Dean at the bar, laughing about something with Daisy, surrounded by a group of other hotel guests. He braces himself and walks over to him, handing him the flower.

“I found the rose garden we were talking about.” 

The bartender and the group of elderly ladies’ swoon. 

Dean smirks  
“He’s my angel.” His tone is teasing, but Cas can see the affection in his eyes. 

* * *

Meanwhile, Jack tries talking up the front desk girl, copying dean being all smooth and suave.

“Hello gorgeous. Do you have some time for me?”  
He leans against counter. Which has just been polished.  
Jack slides off, and hits his head on the edge. 

“Oh you poor thing! Are you ok?”  
She takes him to the manager’s office, and puts a band aid on his head.  
“So, why did you wanted to have time with me?” 

“Actually I didn’t think I would get this far.” 

Margalida snickers.  
“You are cute. But why do you act like someone you are not?” 

“I, uhm, grew up in a cult and wanted to appear normal.”

“A cult? Like unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt?” 

“I don’t know that person.” 

“That’s a show on Netflix.” 

“Oh. I know Netflix now. But my Dads won’t let me watch unsupervised, so I’ve only seen Modern Family and She-Ra so far. They don’t want me to watch all the content without context, apparently it can traumatize me. Mostly because I thought I could learn something about bonding with people from a show called ‘bonding’.” 

Jack has the impression she has trouble holding her laughter for some reason.

“This is very sweet. _You_ are very sweet.”  
Leaning closer, she adds  
“Did you ever had a girlfriend? Or - kissed somebody?” 

“No, I tried once, but she turned out to be a witch.” 

* * *


End file.
